I Love My Family

There is so much I want to say, but I am not sure how to connect all of my thoughts into a cohesive post.  So, I apologize in advance for rambling.  I am mostly overcome with love for my family and joy that God has blessed me with them.  We stayed home this weekend, which allowed us to start getting into more of a routine. We attempted a dinner outing with friends that included both of our children.  To my surprise, it was largely a success.  I also left both children with Billy while I attended a baby shower Saturday, which was his first time alone with both of them for an extended period of time.  I got home, and Barrett was sleeping while Billy and Audrey washed the cars. I'd call that a victory.  On top of that, we disovered that water noise helps Barrett sleep.  He may just be on a schedule that let's me get 7 hours of sleep a night before I start work. 
That brings me to another point...I go back to work on Friday.  For some reason, I am having a much harder time with it than I did when I went back after having Audrey.  I am not sure if it is the fact that my job has changed or if my perspective has changed; it is mostly likely a combination of both.  I have really enjoyed my days at home with Barrett.  I love watching him smile, coo, and try to command his arms to move where he wants them (he has a really cute concentrating face when he is doing that).  I have also enjoyed the flexibility in my schedule and getting to watch the Olympics during the day.  Probably the best part of being home is the evenings, when Billy and Audrey get home and we spend family time together.  I hadvealready finished the laundry, dishes, and cleaning, so there is ample time to relax and enjoy my family instead of working on my to do list.  That will all change when I go back to work, so I am constantly asking myself if it is worth it.  I know this is a common question for working mothers, and I did ask that question from time to time even with Audrey.  So, I turn to prayer and seek God's guidance and peace.  He has shown himself to me in so many ways lately and brought unmistakeable joy to my life.  I know he'll help me get through this as long as I continue to focus on him and am obedient to his call.