Last night as we were driving home from our New Years celebration, Billy mentioned that 2019 means we're only 1 year away from 2020. When we started our life together, our careers, and our family, 2020 all seemed so far off. Now, it is right around the corner.
So, as our life journey takes us into 2019, I wanted to take a few moments to pause. Typically, I would now fill this page with recollections of the events of 2018 and hopes for 2019. But, since I always like to do things differently, I am going to take a different approach. You see, I find it very easy to define my life by milestones of mine or my family's; where I worked, what grade my kids were in, how many kids I had at the time, which dogs we had, which house we lived in, etc. Yet, as I recall those events, it isn't usually the details of the event I remember; instead, it is how I felt. It is the way that event made me feel that makes me either want to recall it again and again, or forget that it happened altogether. I want to remember every single detail of my childrens' births. I don't usually want to remember every detail of the pregnancy (especially the parts where my elevated hormones overrode my better judgement regarding how I should act).
So many times when looking back on these events, we forget to dig into the how. We don't intentionally think about how the event made us feel, how we handled those emotions, and, most importantly, how we adapted based on it. Yet, when we fail to do that, we are doing ourselves a disservice. It is through facing those feelings and our actions that we learn and grow. Without that self-reflection, we stagnate and become lethargic.
Last night I was talking to some friends about some of my anxiety issues, and even though some of the hardest times made me sad to recall, I also found myself peaceful and grateful as I looked back. Peaceful: because I have moved past those difficult times without letting them define or control my future. Grateful: because those experiences proved valuable in me becoming who I am now.
As we enter 2019, I won't set any resolutions (because I never do). But, I will aim to be more present and more intentional about HOW I am living my life: how I treat my family, my friends, and my community; how I use the blessings God has given me; how I spend my time; and how I react to the situations around me. I want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to be the markers by which I remember 2019. That is why the verse from Galatians 5 is going to be my Bible verse for 2019.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
I wish you a 2019 filled with love, joy and peace!
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