All Over the Place

Sometimes, well, most of the time, I just feel all over the place.  This week has been more all over the place than usual because Billy had a very last minute work trip.  I was actually feeling pretty good about it initially.  The first day he was gone, things went surprisingly well. Then, the second day my back really started to act up again, the kids were arguing constantly, and I totally forgot that Audrey had an in-house dance performance instead of just the normal rehearsal (that means wrong leotard, hair wasn't done, and I didn't have anyone to watch the boys so I could go). None of these are big things, but it seemed like all at once a hundred little things piled up.

After getting the kids to bed, I sat down to work, and I was just too tired to function.  I had so many things to do, but I just sat there staring at the computer screen.  I broke down and cried.  I prayed that God would give me the strength to persevere.  And, he did.  I was able to get done what I absolutely had to and went to bed at a reasonable time.  Friday I woke up ready to face the day.

During weeks like this, I often feel like I am on a roller coaster.  One moment I am resting in God's grace, overflowing with joy at the blessings he's given me.  The next, I feel like the blows keep coming, and I can't even lift my head up to get a handle on any one thing.  It never ceases to amaze me how in those moments, God is constantly revealing himself to me.  This week, it was through scripture.  There are two verses that stood out and really helped me stay focused.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call him in truth." Psalm 145:18

For anyone who finds themselves in a similar time of feeling all over the place, I hope you find comfort in these verses as I do.  They remind me that as all over the place as I may be feeling, there is one thing that never changes and never fails...God's unending love.  As long as I center myself on that, I will make it through whatever challenges stand in front of me.