Sunday, August 18, 2013
West County Observation #2
Sperry Topsiders...they are everywhere. Sperrys are to West County as Ug boots were to the college campus circa 2006. I am an admitted owner of a more traditional looking pair of Sperry shoes, and I love them. They are comfortable and cover up chipped toenail polish when I am too lazy to touch it up. I still am a little self conscious about what I can wear them with though. Well, that was until I moved to West County. You see, here, Sperrys go with everything. Jeans and a causal shirt with Sperrys, of course. Leggings and a tunic with Sperrys, it works as a casual look. Sweats with Sperrys, go for it. Sundress and pearls with Sperrys, whatever makes you comfortable. I guess a true test of how quickly I assimilate to being a West County resident will be when I decide I can rock my Sperrys with practically anything in my closet.
Summer or Fall?
The unusually pleasant weather the past couple of weeks has meant a lot of outside time for the Nance family. Between the park, the zoo, and our own back patio, we haven't spent much time indoors. I have to keep reminding myself that it is August.
Audrey always has on some sort of dress up attire when we go to the park.
Audrey always has on some sort of dress up attire when we go to the park.
At the Zoo, Barrett was really entertained by all of the animals, especially the elephants. Audrey was more interested in the play house at the Children's Zoo.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
West County Observation #1
Our move to West County has been more difficult than I could have expected. For those of you not from St. Louis, it is basically just being in the middle of the suburbs. With me, it is really a love/hate relationship. There are aspects of living here that I love such as the nearness of all sorts of retail stores, the number of parks, and our house itself. There are also things I hate like my commute to work. Somewhere between the things I love and the things I hate, there are also things that I find amusing. Most of them are funny because they are unusual to me; I grew up in a small town, then lived in a university town, and then in the heart of the city. When compared to all of those locales, West County is just...well...different. I know to many people my observations will be obvious, but since they make me laugh, I decided I would start doing short blog posts to share my musings.
West County Observation #1: Parents with small children travel in packs. I am sure that it gives both the parents and children an opportunity to socialize, but to the unsuspecting family of four that enters Baskin Robbins on Friday evening after dinner, watch out! Two groups of Two or three couples with 5 to 10 children between them can fill up an ice cream shop faster than you can say "mint chocolate chip please."
West County Observation #1: Parents with small children travel in packs. I am sure that it gives both the parents and children an opportunity to socialize, but to the unsuspecting family of four that enters Baskin Robbins on Friday evening after dinner, watch out! Two groups of Two or three couples with 5 to 10 children between them can fill up an ice cream shop faster than you can say "mint chocolate chip please."
Monday, August 5, 2013
Musicals and Scissors
We had a fun, busy, and rather interesting weekend. It seemed to have all of the elements of a classic sitcom: comedic mishaps, a couple of poor choices, and an overall happy ending. The weekend started with a visit to a St. Louis classic, The Muny. I took Audrey to see Mary Poppins. It was her first time at The Muny, and she was so excited because another little girl in her class was going too. The big topic of conversation for her class on Friday was whether Audrey and Maiya would see each other at the show. As the time for the show drew near, the skies over St. Louis were dark and damp. It had been raining off and on all day, and it didn't look like it was going to let up any time soon. Still, we made our way to Forest Park with high hopes that we would get to see the show. Surprisingly, the start of the show was only delayed about 20 minutes, but only 2 songs in, another downpour began. Audrey and I huddled under our umbrella in our seats. It was like torture for a 4 year old to sit still in a confined space for almost 30 minutes. Fortunately, we made it through and even managed to stay mostly dry ourselves and to keep our seats dry. We didn't roll into our driveway until after 12:30 am though. The next morning, Audrey had a lot to say about the show; she commented on the songs and dancing as I expected, but her fascination with the costumes and scenery surprised me. She also informed her father and I that she thought she could do what the kids in the show did and that she would like it.
Saturday, Audrey slept in a little bit, and so did mommy and daddy. We had a lot to do around the house, since we've been gone so much lately. Fortunately, the kids think cleaning is fun. Barrett in particular loves pushing things across the floor. The Dyson vacuums are his favorite. Yes, I said 'vacuums' (plural), because we have an adult Dyson and a child Dyson. He loves them both. He also likes the play mop and broom that Audrey got for Christmas last year. Audrey likes to wipe things with rags, which actually comes in handy. Baseboards and trim have never been so clean in my house!
After a couple of hours of work around the house, the kids grew weary, so we ventured out to run some errands and for me to get a haircut. Lunch came next, followed by naps. Audrey took such a long nap due to her late night, that dinner followed pretty soon after her nap. At that point, we had a couple more errands to run. When I was buckling her in the car, I noticed that she had hair in her eyes; I am not talking about long strands of hair. I am talking bangs that are overgrown and need trimmed. The problem is, she grew her bangs out and hasn't had bangs for months, that is, until sometime Saturday. When I quizzed Audrey about where the bangs came from, she confessed that she used the scissors to cut her hair. With everything going on that day, I am not sure when it happened and how long it took me to notice; Audrey didn't provide a clear answer for when she cut her hair either. I am told I too cut my own hair once, as do most young girls at some point. I guess it is almost a coming of age ritual. I feel like Audrey got off pretty easy; it just looks like she has a few bangs again, so it isn't a complete disaster. Granted, her dreams of long flowing hair will be put on hold while we wait for the strands she trimmed to catch up with the rest of her locks. There were no emergency trips to the salon, and the only tears shed were Audrey's when she realized that she was now going to have to keep her hair shorter until those hairs caught up with the length of the rest of her hair. The lesson I took away is that even though she knows she is not supposed to use the scissors she can reach on the desk and in the kitchen, it doesn't mean she won't try!
Despite the mishap, we managed to round out our hectic weekend with a trip to Greenville to swim and go on the boat. We also got to visit with family and enjoy some delicious food, because I know my mom wouldn't have it any other way. It was busy and a little crazy, but I am so thankful we spent the weekend together as a family.
Saturday, Audrey slept in a little bit, and so did mommy and daddy. We had a lot to do around the house, since we've been gone so much lately. Fortunately, the kids think cleaning is fun. Barrett in particular loves pushing things across the floor. The Dyson vacuums are his favorite. Yes, I said 'vacuums' (plural), because we have an adult Dyson and a child Dyson. He loves them both. He also likes the play mop and broom that Audrey got for Christmas last year. Audrey likes to wipe things with rags, which actually comes in handy. Baseboards and trim have never been so clean in my house!
After a couple of hours of work around the house, the kids grew weary, so we ventured out to run some errands and for me to get a haircut. Lunch came next, followed by naps. Audrey took such a long nap due to her late night, that dinner followed pretty soon after her nap. At that point, we had a couple more errands to run. When I was buckling her in the car, I noticed that she had hair in her eyes; I am not talking about long strands of hair. I am talking bangs that are overgrown and need trimmed. The problem is, she grew her bangs out and hasn't had bangs for months, that is, until sometime Saturday. When I quizzed Audrey about where the bangs came from, she confessed that she used the scissors to cut her hair. With everything going on that day, I am not sure when it happened and how long it took me to notice; Audrey didn't provide a clear answer for when she cut her hair either. I am told I too cut my own hair once, as do most young girls at some point. I guess it is almost a coming of age ritual. I feel like Audrey got off pretty easy; it just looks like she has a few bangs again, so it isn't a complete disaster. Granted, her dreams of long flowing hair will be put on hold while we wait for the strands she trimmed to catch up with the rest of her locks. There were no emergency trips to the salon, and the only tears shed were Audrey's when she realized that she was now going to have to keep her hair shorter until those hairs caught up with the length of the rest of her hair. The lesson I took away is that even though she knows she is not supposed to use the scissors she can reach on the desk and in the kitchen, it doesn't mean she won't try!
Despite the mishap, we managed to round out our hectic weekend with a trip to Greenville to swim and go on the boat. We also got to visit with family and enjoy some delicious food, because I know my mom wouldn't have it any other way. It was busy and a little crazy, but I am so thankful we spent the weekend together as a family.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Coping with the Mommy Guilt
As much as the Mommy Guilt is present in my mind, I figured I may as well entertain it for a second post. I realize that by writing about it that I am, to some extent, giving into it. I am opening the door and serving it a cup of tea. I think that is OK though; in fact, I think I need it. I need to get it out of my head and see it on the written page. I need to stop struggling against the Mommy Guilt so I can study it and learn from it.
I don’t want to give the impression that the Mommy Guilt is completely immobilizing (which the dramatic ending to my last post may have led some to believe). I am still going, still moving forward. Am I moving in the right direction? Who knows! But, at least I am moving; right? I keep getting up and going to work; I keep putting 110% into making my team successful. I keep loving my kids and showing them that in any way I can; I keep trying to raise them the way God wants me to. I keep trying to balance my husband, children, career, housework, other family, and friends. These are all blessings, and I know that. I think that is why I tend to underplay the affect the Mommy Guilt has on me. I don’t want to be a complainer; I don’t want people to say that I don’t know how good I have it. I do realize that my life is more blessed than I could have ever imagined. That doesn’t make it easy though. And that definitely doesn’t do anything to defend me against the mommy guilt. In fact, it makes the Guilt worse. I feel like I am not properly caring for the blessings that God has bestowed into my care.
I need to go back to something specific I said in my last post. I stated that I have struggled against Mommy Guilt daily since going back to work after Barrett’s birth. That was a slight exaggeration. There are days when I don’t feel it, when I don’t even know it’s there. In fact, there were periods of time when it was tolerable and easily controlled. It really started to get bad in March of this year. That is when my job became insanely stressful; there were changes in direction beyond our control, and we had to adapt. That meant many long days in the office with back to back meetings followed by evenings logged into my work laptop at home to get caught up on emails after the children went to bed. I could have handled it if the workload was at that level for a week or two, but this lasted for months. In mid-May, we went to Florida on a family vacation. The day we left, I spent the morning working from home while Billy got the kids ready and loaded the car; then I worked in the car for the first four hours of our 12 hour drive. I did manage to relax and not log in every day but spent another few hours on the drive home cleaning through emails in preparation for my return to the office. I’ve had to cancel a couple of vacation days and rearrange my personal schedule to accommodate my job related work. That said, I guess the Mommy Guilt has really built its force over the past 4 months, because the demands of my job have been completely shattering any semblance of balance my life once had.
My job is starting to return to what I would consider normal, but even normal means stress, travel, and sometimes late nights staring into the light of my laptop screen. When it was really bad, I kept telling myself things would slow down and get back to normal. But, now that normal has returned, I still don’t think it is what I want. I realize how selfish that sounds. Here, God has given me the blessing of a solid career with a promising future, and I am going to throw it back in his face and tell him I don’t want it. I feel like I am a spoiled brat that got two brown ponies for Christmas, but throws a fit and pouts because I wanted a white one. For goodness sake, there are 2 ponies and not just one. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I drown out the Mommy Guilt and just be thankful for my promising career that provides for me and my family? Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for all of my blessings. I praise God for his kindness and thank Him for giving them to me. That just doesn’t quiet the part of me that desires to spend my days working around the house and taking care of my children.
I don’t want to give the impression that the Mommy Guilt is completely immobilizing (which the dramatic ending to my last post may have led some to believe). I am still going, still moving forward. Am I moving in the right direction? Who knows! But, at least I am moving; right? I keep getting up and going to work; I keep putting 110% into making my team successful. I keep loving my kids and showing them that in any way I can; I keep trying to raise them the way God wants me to. I keep trying to balance my husband, children, career, housework, other family, and friends. These are all blessings, and I know that. I think that is why I tend to underplay the affect the Mommy Guilt has on me. I don’t want to be a complainer; I don’t want people to say that I don’t know how good I have it. I do realize that my life is more blessed than I could have ever imagined. That doesn’t make it easy though. And that definitely doesn’t do anything to defend me against the mommy guilt. In fact, it makes the Guilt worse. I feel like I am not properly caring for the blessings that God has bestowed into my care.
I need to go back to something specific I said in my last post. I stated that I have struggled against Mommy Guilt daily since going back to work after Barrett’s birth. That was a slight exaggeration. There are days when I don’t feel it, when I don’t even know it’s there. In fact, there were periods of time when it was tolerable and easily controlled. It really started to get bad in March of this year. That is when my job became insanely stressful; there were changes in direction beyond our control, and we had to adapt. That meant many long days in the office with back to back meetings followed by evenings logged into my work laptop at home to get caught up on emails after the children went to bed. I could have handled it if the workload was at that level for a week or two, but this lasted for months. In mid-May, we went to Florida on a family vacation. The day we left, I spent the morning working from home while Billy got the kids ready and loaded the car; then I worked in the car for the first four hours of our 12 hour drive. I did manage to relax and not log in every day but spent another few hours on the drive home cleaning through emails in preparation for my return to the office. I’ve had to cancel a couple of vacation days and rearrange my personal schedule to accommodate my job related work. That said, I guess the Mommy Guilt has really built its force over the past 4 months, because the demands of my job have been completely shattering any semblance of balance my life once had.
My job is starting to return to what I would consider normal, but even normal means stress, travel, and sometimes late nights staring into the light of my laptop screen. When it was really bad, I kept telling myself things would slow down and get back to normal. But, now that normal has returned, I still don’t think it is what I want. I realize how selfish that sounds. Here, God has given me the blessing of a solid career with a promising future, and I am going to throw it back in his face and tell him I don’t want it. I feel like I am a spoiled brat that got two brown ponies for Christmas, but throws a fit and pouts because I wanted a white one. For goodness sake, there are 2 ponies and not just one. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I drown out the Mommy Guilt and just be thankful for my promising career that provides for me and my family? Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for all of my blessings. I praise God for his kindness and thank Him for giving them to me. That just doesn’t quiet the part of me that desires to spend my days working around the house and taking care of my children.
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