Peaks and Valleys

Moving is stressful.  Moving with two young children can bring you to the verge of insanity.  Even that, however, has been a process full of ups and downs.  It amazes me how in the same day I can be on the top of the world at one moment and in a pit of despair just hours later.  A few weeks ago on a Saturday, I had one of those days.  A good friend of mine (thanks Nancy!) watched both of my children while I went to get my hair cut since Billy was out of town.  On top of that, we got out the door on time, and I had even managed to do two loads of laundry and clean bottles by that time as well.  The day continued to go swimmingly after that; both children took good naps, leaving me 1.5 uninterrupted hours, during which time I was able to get started on our taxes after completing the other item on my to do list.

By the time I went to bed that Saturday, it was 11 pm. I was so completely exhausted both physically and mentally that I couldn’t even cry.  What happened?  First, I realized that we did not save enough money to cover what we owe on our income taxes.  Then, my dog ate potting soil, which did not agree with her stomach or my white carpet (right where you walk into the living room, naturally).  I still haven’t figured out where she got the potting soil, because our plants were all still intact and there was no soil on the floor.  Nonetheless, I spent the next 2 hours on my hands and knees trying to get three black spots out of the carpet. 

It seems like that has been the way everything is going lately.  Constant ups and downs.  Barrett is sick. Barrett is healthy, but Audrey is sick.  Audrey is healthy physically, but forgot how to behave while she was sick.  Audrey is behaving, but the dog is eating potting soil.  Oh, wait, now I am sick.  Seriously?!  Can I get a break! 

If you aren’t laughing at me right now, you’re probably rolling your eyes.  I know these are not the big problems in life.  When you look at the whole picture, we really have it pretty good.  God has blessed us in so many ways.  But in that moment, it is sometimes hard to take that perspective.  Ok, 95% of the time, I don’t take that perspective.  It is so easy to get caught up in my own little world and forget about everything outside of my immediate view.  It is much harder to remember that this life is not about my comfort and happiness.  I know I need to focus on serving God and fulfilling his purpose for my life, but when I have so many more immediate demands on my time such as dressing, feeding, and bathing the children; dressing, feeding, and bathing myself; keeping up with laundry and house cleaning; completing work for my job.  As I write that list, I am struck by how small all of those things are, yet somehow they demand all of my time. 

The Bible instructs us to serve God by doing everything that we do for his glory.  That includes all of the seemingly insignificant daily tasks that I do every day, even cleaning up after sick children and dogs. I may not be converting the masses to Christianity or helping the needy in a third-world country, but I can bring God glory by being a good wife, mother, employee, boss, daughter, and friend.  Even that can be a very tall task.  Still, I praise God for being merciful, and I rest in his grace each time I complain about my circumstances and wish for something different.  Now, as the days are starting to get warmer and the Lenten season is upon us, I feel God reassuring me with the beauty of spring and the promise of Easter.  While things may not get easier and the road may not be level, I hope that I can at least change my attitude and stop asking, “Why me?” when I fall into a valley from a peak I didn’t want to leave.