Slow Down!

The past few weeks we've been trying to get back into the swing of the school routine, which includes going through clothes to pull out the ones that don't fit, getting all of the new stuff for the year (supplies, books, clothes), and just getting to all of the activities.  Whilst doing all of these things, it has really started to hit me just how big my children have gotten.  I know it sounds cliché, but I can't help it!

The growth is so obvious when they are babies and even toddlers.  Fletcher, for instance learns new words and phrases every day; today he learned "Voltron is Awesome!" thanks to his older siblings.  But for the older two, while the physical growth continues to be obvious, the intellectual and emotional growth is much more subtle.  I guess that's why when I do notice it, I am just so proud of the people they've come to be and continue to become.

Audrey isn't only able to wear women's sized shoes, but she's also had to start washing her face each evening.  She does her hair on her own almost every day.  Every time I see her with Fletcher and other younger children, I am just amazed by how caring and helpful she is.  This morning during a fire drill at church she was walking out holding the hands of 2 toddlers (one of them was Fletcher) in order to help out the teachers.  While we were shopping the other day, I saw a cute skirt and she said, "you already have a lot of skirts like that.  Do you need it or just want it?" Seriously!  When did she start thinking so logically about things?

Barrett is also becoming much more independent.  He has always looked to Audrey when he was in an unfamiliar situation or needed help.  Now, he is becoming much more interested in hanging out with his friends instead of just following his sister around.  He continues to read better and better, and I am genuinely astonished by how well he is picking up new piano songs.  He knows the notes so well now!

I am so blessed to get to play momma for these two amazing children.  I can't wait to see what new and amazing things they learn this coming year.  I just hope they don't grow up too fast!

8 Years

It's hard to believe it's been 8 years since I talked to Jenni for the last time.  She was getting a dog and called to see if we had any puppy supplies she could have since Stella was now 3 years old.  Audrey's daycare was also selling wrapping paper for a fundraiser, so we talked about that too.  When my mother-in-law called me 30 minutes later, I thought it was to talk about the wrapping paper.  Instead, she told me that Jenni had been in a car accident and they didn't know if she'd be ok.

After the initial stun wore off, we loaded Audrey, the dogs and ourselves in the car and left for Greenville.  I won't go into all of the painful details, but it was the longest 40 minute car ride of my life.  With each minute that passed from the last phone call with his parents, our hearts sunk deeper and deeper.  We were still a ways out when we finally called his dad and got the heartbreaking news.

That whole evening is still so vivid in my memory.  Part of me wants to forget, but part of me wants to remember.  I want to remember her, and since I won't have any more moments with her here on earth, remembering those first moments when I found out seems like something I should do.  And, when I look back on that night, as I sort through the memories of the feelings, the people, the questions...I am struck every time by all of the ways that God was there and continues to be there.

There are so many things that happened that aren't my story to tell: the way my in-laws found out about the accident, the flat tire they got on the way there, the people that came out to show their love and support to the whole family.  These stories are illustrate how God loved and cared for us in those moments of the most intense pain. Since those aren't my experiences, I'll focus on the ones that are mine.

First, I was supposed to go to a sorority alumnae chapter meeting that night.  If you know me, you know that I am the type of woman who doesn't like to back down from my commitments. But, that night, I chose not to go.  I remember Billy asking me why I wasn't going, and I didn't have a real reason.  I didn't realize it then, but now I can clearly see that the Holy Spirit was compelling me to stay home.  I needed to be there with my husband that night.

Next was the fact that I had talked to Jenni that night.  I didn't talk to her on the phone a lot. But, God knew I needed that moment to remember.  So many other moments I took for granted, but as soon as I got that phone call from Lana, I started cementing that last conversation with Jenni in my mind.  The last thing she said to me was "I love you," and I was too embarrassed to boldly just say "I love you" back to her.  So, I just said, "you too."  That moment has forever changed the way I approach conversations and people in general.  I am much more bold with telling my friends and family I love them (in a brotherly, sisterly love kind of way).  I want to make sure they know.  I don't want them to question if they're loved, and I don't want to have to question if they know how much I care about them.  When we lost Jenni, I finally got it, and I stopped caring about looking foolish.

The last example I'll mention is one that shows me how God can make good come of any situation.  Losing Jenni was awful, but somehow, through the horrible process of grieving and figuring out how our family looked with out her, the family grew in an unexpected way (and I'm not talking about the 2 babies I've had in the past 8 years).  You see, before Jenni died, my parents and in-laws were friends.  They would hang out from time to time, and since we all love the lake, there were weekends where we'd all be at the lake together.  However, during those first few years after Jenni died, without anyone realizing it was happening, the two families became one.  It really is extraordinary.  Even my brother, his wife and daughter are just part of the tribe.  The beauty of the whole thing is that Jenni believed in loving people well.  She was always defending people that were different from her.  She would force the people around her to open their hearts and minds to be more inclusive.  She would've been so happy to see how these families have merged, to be part of all of the chaos, and to stir the pot from time to time.

As much as I wish Jenni was still here and that I could pick up the phone and talk to her about our dogs and all of the crazy things they're doing, I am grateful for the time that I did know Jenni and how she loved us so well.

Feeling Nostalgic

When the seasons change, there is that ever so fun task of cleaning through the kids clothes and determining what they've outgrown (or in Barrett's case, what has too many holes for him to wear). This year, I am actually getting to that before the weather gets cold and my kids only have pants to wear to school that look like capri pants. Practically speaking, this is a task that needs to be done (especially with Barrett, because he'll try to keep things he shouldn't be wearing anymore just because he likes them).  The task is one that always makes me feel nostalgic though.  I always think about how many other times I've completed this task.  With the boys, I unpack a tub of clothes that I'd saved from Barrett for Fletcher, and I'm flooded with a ton of memories.  

In honor of my nostalgia, I thought I'd share just a few of my favorite photos of my kids when they were 2.  I picked 2 since that's Fletcher's current age, and then it's sort of an even point of comparison. 

This first one has so many wonderful things about it.  First, it has Jack.  He loved swimming after toys, and this was one of he and Audrey's favorite pastimes when we were at the lake.  Second, this is taken on the old dock.  I had almost forgotten any of my kids every played on the old dock with the wooden deck.  Finally, it is fun to look back at Audrey when she was the age that Fletcher is now.  He looks so much like her.  [Dad Note:  The thing I like about this picture is the orange life jacket Audrey is wearing is the same one I had at her again.]

  

This one is Barrett. I love this one because it captures him so well.  Sunglasses, because his eyes have always been sensitive.  The vest is one of my favorite clothing items we had for him.  Still, the best part is what he was doing.  Barrett has always liked working.  He especially loves construction projects.  In this photo, my dad was helping put up fence at a neighbors house, and this is the pallet of concrete mix they were using.  Barrett really loved watching my dad pour it into the mixer and then helping turn it.  And, he still loves that kind of stuff to this day. 

Audrey's fashion sense and love of accessories really started to develop around that time.  She was never without some sort of jewelry, hairpiece, and/or purse.  She was also (and still is) very picky about her shoes.  I am thankful we're past the phase where she always wanted ones that sparkle (including tennis shoes). I am pretty sure she was wearing her purple sequin tennis Mary Jane style tennis shoes with the outfit in this picture.

  

It still amazes me how God creates every child differently.  Even though Fletcher has had a lot of influence from his siblings, he is definitely his own person.  In many ways, his personality reflects that of his siblings in his own unique way.  For instance...his three favorite toys are boats, baby dolls, and legos.  In this picture you can see him carrying around a baby, a boat, and a waverunner.  I am not sure what he was doing with all of them, but he looks like a man on a mission for sure.  

Of all of my kids, Barrett has been the one to have the most "lovies."  There are two in particular that were a pretty important cuddle team for a while.  His puppy blankie and his duck.  When Christy took photos for us one time, the only way we could get Barrett to cooperate was by including the duck in the pictures.  

Fletcher plays by himself better than I remember either of my other 2 kids doing that.  Especially when he has legos and boats, he can entertain himself for hours.  His latest thing is building "boathouse" and putting his boat inside of it. In this picture he built that all by himself.  Oh, and he drools...a lot.  All of the time.  I don't know how to turn it off.

I guess that's a long enough trip down memory lane.  I probably don't do it often enough.  Fortunately, I take tons of photos, so I'll never be at a loss for reminders.  

Everybody Skis

This weekend, my mom declared it to be the weekend where "everybody skis."  We were at the lake in Greenville, and growing up, that was basically every weekend in the summer.  We didn't have a dock or anything, so the vast majority of the day was spent on the boat.  My brother and I skied and tubed and wakeboarded at least once a day when we were at the lake.

Fast forward to today.  We split our time between the lake in Greenville and Lake of the Ozarks.  They are so different, so they offer many different things.  At Lake O, if you want to ski, it has to be early, or the water gets too choppy.  We have skis for the kids, but they never seem to be at the right lake at the right time.  So, much to my surprise, none of my children can ski.  As much as we are at some lake during the summer, that may shock you.  I guess I don't count Fletcher in this, since he is only 2, but that didn't exempt him completely from Everybody Skis weekend.

In true form, we all skied.  Well, Brian and Barret wakeboarded. And here's the proof.

Brian on the wakeboard.

Barrett on the wakeboard.  He did a great job.  This is his second time trying this summer.  It took some convincing to get him to try today, but once he started trying, he didn't want to stop.  The last time he went a decent distance before he fell.  It was awesome to see him try.

Audrey water skiing. She used adult skis this year instead of the kid skis because she's gotten so tall.  Audrey got scared any time she was a little shaky and let go, so she didn't go very far.  I have confidence that if she just hung on and kept her butt down she'd get it.  I am just glad that she faced her fear and tried. She definitely made her momma proud.

Me water skiing.

Billy water skiing.



My mom water skiing.



My dad did attempt to ski.  He hasn't skied in a few years though, so I don't have any shots of him out of the water. It's still great to see him try.  That sets a great example for the kiddos!

Laurenn water skiing.



And finally, since Fletcher couldn't ski, he tubed for the first time.  He was not a fan though.  He was a trooper and made it a little ways before Barrett hopped on the tube in our place.

I think Fletcher's favorite place was in the boat though.  He really liked watching his brother and sister tube.

All in all, it was a great weekend.  Knowing that it was the last before hockey starts and all of the other activities, I'd say we really made the most of it.  And, I think the Everybody Skis weekend is a new tradition!