Let's Go Blues!

I had never been to a Blues game until college.  My first game was a rush game that Billy was helping coordinate for his fraternity.  Since then, I've been to too many games to count, and my children all went to a game before they were a year old (well, Fletcher hasn't gone yet, but I have no doubt that he will).  In fact, the first picture of our newly formed family of 5 was the one that we took the day after we got home from the hospital to show our Blues spirit in preparation for the first game of the Blues/Blackhawks first round playoff series. 

Most of you are probably aware that my sister-in-law Laurenn is from Chicago and is a huge Blackhawks fan.  This has been a point of jest and occasional contention since she and my brother started dating.  While the kids were in Greenville Saturday night, they watched the Blues/Blackhawks game with my parents, my brother, and Laurenn.  As soon as he found out they were going to watch the hockey game, Barrett went into his suitcase and pulled out his Blues jersey, and Laurenn got her Blackhawks gear on too. 

Now, before I continue, I have to preface the rest of the story with a couple key pieces of information.  First, my kids adore their aunt Laurenn.  She is always attentive and plays with them, which they absolutely love.  Second, Barrett is already turning out to be quite the ladies man, and he has a particular affinity for blondes.  Despite being generally hesitant to leave my side as a toddler, there are several instances where he was more than happy to do so, and in all of those occasions, it was a young blonde woman for whom he was willing to part with me.  I am pretty sure that we are going to have to keep an eye on any blonde girls he hangs out with when he gets older.

All that said, during the game Saturday, Laurenn was defending her team to the room full of Blues fans.  As part of that, she kept telling Audrey and Barrett they should cheer for the Blackhawks.  Audrey, of course, just cheered more adamantly for the Blues.  Barrett on the other hand submitted to the request and began cheering for the Blackhawks.

Fast forward to last night.  Billy was preparing to leave to go to the game.  As soon as Barrett heard this, he began chanting, "Let's go Blackhawks."  We tried to explain that he couldn't cheer for both the Blues and the Blackhawks, because only one team would win, but I don't think he understood.  We jokingly told him that he couldn't wear his Blues jersey if he was cheering for the Blackhawks, and he got really upset.  I don't think he understood the fact that we were joking either.

This morning when we told him the Blues beat the Blackhawks, I think he was genuinely at a loss as to how he should feel.  In the end, he decided to wear his Blues jersey to school, which I think made Billy feel better.  The good news is that he can't cheer for the Blackhawks any more this year, so hopefully he'll forget about this by the fall, and we'll just chalk it up to the fact that he was temporarily brainwashed by a Blackhawks fan.

Whirlwind

Fletcher's second week started off quietly, but ended in a whirlwind.  Billy worked from home on Monday and returned to the office on Tuesday, giving Fletcher and I lots of time to bond watching Fixer Upper while I fed him (because that is pretty much all I accomplished that day).  Wednesday, Nana and Papa came to visit, and Thursday Fletcher and I ventured out of the house to take Audrey to dance class. 

Friday started with newborn photos.  It is always fun to see Christy and catch up while she takes amazing photos of our kids.  Unfortunately, Fletcher was not as cooperative as I had hoped, but Christy always manages to capture some good photos despite the fussy baby.  Fletcher wore himself out though and fell fast asleep as soon as we were done, naturally.  After pictures, we headed to the pediatrician (all 5 of us), where we found out that Fletcher has only gained 4 ounces in the past week, which is much less than expected.  The pediatrician also noticed that his jaundice didn't look any better, so she sent us to the hospital lab to have his blood drawn to test his bilirubin levels. While I was at the hospital with Fletcher, Billy took the kids to the park where Audrey rode her bike without training wheels for the first time. Then, around 5:30, the pediatrician called to let me know that Fletcher's bilirubin levels were pretty high, and she wanted us to take him to the hospital to be treated.  My initial reaction to this news was along the lines of "ok, they put him under a special light and he gets better; let's do what we need to do."  That quickly turned to, "wait a minute, he is going to be admitted to the hospital.  My baby is going back to the hospital.  What!?" 

We were admitted to the hospital around 8 pm.  After a very sleepless night (I think I got about 4.5 hours of sleep combined), I am happy to report that Fletcher's bilirubin levels have gone down.  His skin is also starting to look less yellow.  He is also starting to look They are still pretty high, but based on the doctor's observations, they don't think he is at risk of any lasting issues from his jaundice.  So, we are preparing to leave the hospital and go home after almost 20 hours of the photo-therapy. 

Whirlwind is the one word that I can think of to most accurately describe yesterday's events.  I woke up Friday morning pretty well rested (I got two 2-hour stretches and one 4-hour stretch of sleep Thursday night) and ready for the events on my calendar.  I did not, however, expect the turn those events would take or that I would be sleeping at the hospital Friday night. 

This whirlwind of events has caused the mommy guilt to begin swirling around in my head.  I am questioning why Fletcher isn't gaining weight and wondering whether I am producing enough milk to sustain him.  I am doubting whether I am as in tune with Fletcher's needs as I thought I was.  I am frustrated that I was overconfident in my knowledge of breastfeeding since I had done so successfully with my other two children. I love my son and want to make the right decisions to ensure his health and well-being.  Unfortunately, he can't talk yet, so it will take a bit of trial and error to figure out how to work through all of this.  I know God is watching over us, so I am just praying that he will guide us to the right decisions for Fletcher.  I hope that includes his bilirubin levels continuing to drop and me being able to exclusively breastfeed him.  But, as long as Fletcher is healthy, that is what matters.  And, I will trust God through whatever happens.

Fletcher's first week

Since my last post, we achieved another major milestone in Fletcher's life.  We came home.  While this may not sound like a major occurrence to some, let me assure you that leaving the hospital where you have people who basically wait on you to return to your house where you have 2 other children to care for and only your spouse to help manage it all is not as easy as it may seem.  The hardest part for me is the fact that I am not at full operating capacity, so I frequently find myself sitting around and watching Billy do all of the grunt work.  Each day, I am feeling better and better, but I am a little apprehensive about Billy returning to work a couple of days next week. 

Since leaving the hospital, we've gotten to know Fletcher better.  So far, he seems pretty laid back.  He doesn't like being hungry or having a dirty diaper, but other than that, he seems to just go with the flow.  His second night at home, he let us lay him down after feeding him and didn't fuss again until it was time to eat; so we were able to get three chunks of sleep 2-3 hours long between feedings.  If you do the math, that is a full night of sleep.  The next night, however, was a pretty sleepless one, and then last night was somewhere in between.

 

The dogs have reacted to Fletcher the same way they did with the other two.  Jack is very concerned when he cries, and Stella could care less that he's around.  Jack loves to lick his face when he can reach it too.

Audrey and Barrett have both been vary good so far.  Despite some rough moments, I think they understand that we need their cooperation, because mommy and daddy are really tired right now.  They both are very quick to jump in and help out with Fletcher. I think it also helps that we've tried as much as possible to keep their routine basically the same.  Billy took them to the park for a couple of hours today to help Audrey learn to ride her bike without training wheels and just let them get outside in this gorgeous weather.  He has also been playing a lot of hockey in the garage with Barrett.  I am pretty limited with what I can do physically right now, so I am thankful that he has been able to participate with the kids on some of those more physical activities.

 

All in all, Fletcher's first week at home has gone well.  I am looking forward to the coming weeks as we continue to get to know him better and start to establish some sort of a routine. 

Welcome Fletcher!

On Sunday, April 10, we welcomed our son, Fletcher James Nance into the world.  He weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces and was 21  1/4 inches long.  He has a strong resemblance to Barrett when he was a baby, but he also has a full head of light brown/blonde hair.  It is the first thing everyone comments on when they see him without a hat.  He has strong lungs and cries loudly when he is not happy; in fact, he was yelling the second he took his first breath of air.  He didn't have to have his mouth suctioned out or anything.
 

While he is the smallest of my three babies (Audrey was 8 pounds 10 ounces, and Barrett was 8 pounds 12 ounces), he is eating just as well as either of them did.  He is acing all of his tests at this point, and he can already lift and turn his head.  He must know that he has a rowdy older brother with whom he'll need to be able to hold his own. 

Given my last two child delivery experiences, everyone, including me, expected this labor to be quick and easy.  Unfortunately, we were all wrong.  This time it took longer than both of the other 2 combined at 13 hours.  Still not terrible, but it made for a long sleepless night.  I still made it through without any medication, but admittedly was second-guessing that decision toward the end.  My husband is a rock though and supported me in getting through it.  And God was there with me reminding me that when I am not strong enough on my own, his strength will carry me through. While it was harder than expected, it was totally worth it to deliver a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  On a positive note, I actually got to make some good use of the fancy birthing suite I was in here at Mercy Hospital. 

Audrey and Barrett are enamored with their baby brother.  It took some convincing for Barrett to believe that his name was not Vladimir (which Barrett pronounces Bladimir).  They got to meet him for the first time yesterday morning.  The first thing Barrett asked was how Fletcher got out of my belly; I responded by telling him that I pushed really hard with my muscles, but provided no additional details.  As soon as Audrey saw Fletcher, she wanted to unswaddle him so she could see his feet.  It was so amazing to see all three of them together though.  As excited as I was to have a third child, seeing the three of them together is even more amazing than I expected.  The entire time the older kids were here, they were constantly wanting to hold Fletcher, touch him, or at the very least be as close as possible to him.  I know they can't wait for us to come home tomorrow.  I just hope the excitement and novelty lasts for a while.

Perspective

From time to time, we all need to see the world from a different perspective so we can adjust our perspective of our own situation.  Lord knows I have been in need of that lately.  So, he sent some people into my life to provide that perspective.  I have been so focused on me, my pregnancy, and everything that I do or do not want to happen as it relates to the arrival of this baby.  My extreme selfishness has been stressing me out and making me extremely irritable. By the time I went to bed last Friday, I was driving myself so crazy that I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I was in desperate need of a good dose of humility.  That humility came in the form of a few good women who, completely unbeknownst to them I am sure, showed me just how selfish I was being and how it was me, no one else, that was making me miserable. 

 

I realized through just everyday conversations with these women just how blessed I am.  I also realized that despite my blessings, I was focusing so much on the things that I couldn’t control (like when this baby is born) instead of spending my energy in a more positive way (like reigning in my crabbiness or finding joy in the blessings I have).  I came to the conclusion that I want to find the joy in these last few days before my third baby’s arrival.

 

That simple shift in my thinking has made a huge impact over the past 2 days. On Sunday, despite doing really no pre-planning for Audrey’s birthday, we had a great day.  Yesterday at work, the shift in my thinking resulted in the first day for weeks where no one made a comment to me about how tired or worn out I look.  I am sure keeping this perspective will still be an uphill battle, and probably even more so after the baby is born. But I am so thankful to have a God who continues to give me grace and gently put me in my place so I can see the joy he has put into my life. 

Celebrating Audrey

Every year, April 3 brings around so many memories.  It was 7 years ago on this day when I met my firstborn face to face.  It is such an amazing gift to have been blessed with such a wonderful daughter.  For the first time since the day of her birth, Audrey's birthday fell on a weekend day.  That meant, we got to spend the whole day celebrating her.  With everything going on surrounding the impending arrival of her baby brother, it was nice that we were able to spoil her with attention for once. 

We started the morning by letting her open the gift she picked out a couple of months ago in Chicago...her first American Girl doll.  She chose the Rebecca doll from the historical collection, and Audrey couldn't have been happier starting the morning by pulling her out of the box.

After opening her present, we ate breakfast.  Since we weren't planning to do a traditional cake or anything, I made coffee cake for breakfast and put candles in it.  We sang happy birthday, so that made it official.  Who said coffee cake can't be birthday cake?

 

 

Since it was Sunday, we headed to church.  Of course, Audrey had to change Rebecca into a party dress for the occasion.  Then, we took Audrey out to lunch at 5 Star Burgers, and her friend Sophie joined us.  Sophie got her a pink Beanie Boo cat so they would have matching ones.  And, like any pair of 7 year old girls, they thought this was the best thing ever.  We let them play at the park for a bit, both cats in tow of course.  It was a such a beautiful day to be at the park, it was hard to come inside. It isn't always such beautiful weather on Audrey's birthday, so we were lucky that the great weather came on the year we were able to spend a good portion of the day outside.  In fact, it was so nice, that I have my first sunburn of the year (just on my arms fortunately).  

 

The most unexpected part of the day was not the arrival of her baby brother.  Instead it was an extended visit from both sets of Audrey's grandparents.  We knew they were going to stop by, but they ended up staying for dinner as well.  Audrey got a cookie cake with candles this time.  For not having a "real" birthday cake, she made out pretty well in terms of being showered with song and blowing out candles.  

It still amazes me that I have a seven year old daughter. Every day, she is growing up more and more.  She can read and write. In fact, before bed she started the first book that came with her Rebecca doll.  She is learning to tell time.  She even goes to her room and organizes her doll clothes without prompting (there's no denying she is my child).  She loves art and animals (but she still won't touch worms with her bare hands).  She loves God and tries to teach others about Jesus.  She wants so badly to do the right things, and becomes discouraged when she doesn't.  Her favorite musicians are Walk the Moon, 21 Pilots, and Taylor Swift.  She is becoming so grown up, and I know this is only the beginning. Fortunately, the little girl that loves to build forts, have tickle fights, draw pictures for hours, and play hide and seek is still there, and I hope that never changes.  I can't wait to see what her 8th year of life will bring!