Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of travel for me.  First to Kansas City, then to Birmingham, AL, and then several day-long meetings at work.   You might think that I just want to come home and go to bed.  Fortunately, since I've been away from my family so much, what I really want to do is spend quality time with them.  I can tell that everyone is glad to have me home, which is extremely uplifting.   I think Billy was just as glad to have me home as the kids, if not more.   With all of the bad weather two weeks ago, driving was a nightmare, and he was having to drive downtown to drop off and pick up the kids each day in the middle of his commute to and from Boeing. 

I have really appreciated Billy's support through this. It is always tough for a mother to leave her family for any period of time, but it is easier when I know I have a supportive husband who will make sure we all get through it just fine. I have enough of the mommy guilt as it is, so the last thing I want is to pile the wife guilt on top of it, and fortunately for me, Billy understands that. 

Naturally, all of this travel and the time away from my family has caused me to pause and consider if this is right; is it what God wants me to do? My devotional reading one day last week talked about how Christians frequently pray for God to show them what to do; it was timely for me.  I want to know what path to follow, because I genuinely want to choose the one that God has laid out for me.  I understand that may mean taking the harder path or the one that I would prefer to ignore.  I sincerely want to make decisions the way God would make them for me.  My devotional lesson, however, challenged even that most sincere and valid desire.  While God has plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11) and calls us to serve him in the world by our deeds (1 John 3:18), the Bible spends more time discussing who God wants us to be than it does on what he wants us to do. He wants us to be imitators and disciples of Christ (Ephesians 5:1), believers, love, fruitful, and the list goes on and on. The devotional said it very well, so I will quote Joan C. Webb in It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. 

"Being doesn't mean we neglect action.  Doing flows naturally out of being.  We can learn to be first and then to do."

With all that I feel like I have to do (including travel for the good of my company and the program I support at work), I find this very reassuring.  I love my family, and I may not have time for all that I want to do. But I believe.  I love God, and I try to "be like Jesus to the least of these" to quote Audio Adrenaline.  So, as I look forward to a few weeks without any work travel, I can rest in the loving arms of God and my family, and be thankful that I am loved unconditionally. 

My flight from Birmingham got in late Wednesday night.  So, Thursday morning, Barrett heard me talking to Audrey and started saying "mommy, mommy" from his crib.  When I walked in his room, he greeted me with a huge grin and open arms.  It made my heart smile.  Audrey takes a little longer to warm up to me again, but by Thursday night both kids were happy to play and snuggle with mommy, and mommy was ecstatic to play and snuggle with them.  I relish those smiles and snuggles. I may not do all of the motherly things the "experts" tell me I should, but I am and will always be a loving mother and wife to my children and husband.