Remembering

Last night, I went to the visitation for a family friends that I hadn't seen in years. When we were kids, he and his family's house was behind my family's house. His little sister was my best friend. We were inseparable, until they moved away while we were still in elementary school. Our family stayed in close touch for a few years after that, visiting each other during the Summers. The last time I remember seeing them, I was either in high school, and then life got busy and I lost contact with them.

When I saw my friend and her parents last night, they greeted me with the same warmth that I remember from my childhood. We recalled memories of times we were together and shared stories all the changes that have happened in the past 20 years.

As I made the drive home, I kept bouncing between two emotions. 

First, I was sad. Sad that Holly and her family were suffering a grief I know all to well. Sad that life has caused us to lose touch. We have so many memories and fun times together. Their family were the ones that got my parents started with the Ski Club. I have no idea what my life would be like if it wasn't for boating and living the lake life, and it all began there. I do wonder what my life would be like if Holly and I had remained closer to all of these years.

Second, I was filled with hope. Hope that we might reconnect and rekindle our friendship. After all, we do now share a bond of losing a sibling/child. And, I was struck by one particular of that bond. Today, they celebrated and buried Ben. Nine years ago today, we stood in the First Christian Church in Greenville celebrating the life of my sister-in-law Jenni and saying goodbye for the "last" time. As we talked yesterday, I could truly relate to the exhaustion, the pain, and the sadness.  

I wish I could tell them that it gets easier, but that would be a lie. Instead, it just becomes "normal." In other words, you get used to the idea of them being gone. You get used to family events without them. You get used to looking at the same old pictures because you don't have any new ones. You get used to the same stories you tell your kids so they will feel like they know them, and you'll get used to your kids starting to tell those stories because you've told them so many times. You get used to grief sneaking up on you in weird moments when all else seems normal, but something caused you to reminisce and wish they were there with you. And those moments will never be easy. It's been 9 years since we said goodbye, and we still miss Jenni all of the time. 

Enjoying Time at Home

With school starting, even though it continues to be in the 90s every day, we haven't been spending as much time at the lake. As a result, we're doing more around the house and around town. This weekend was the Greentree Festival in Kirkwood.  The highlight for the kids is always the parade. We got to go see the kids' schools, hockey club, and a lot of friends walk in the parade with floats and candy. This is the first year in a while we just watched, and it was awesome!  We watched at a friend's house with a front row seat. 

While mom and dad enjoyed the parade, we also enjoyed visiting with friends at the festival, eating funnel cake, and walking through booths for the craft show. Friday night, there was also a beautiful sunset, and I  managed to get Audrey to take a picture with me (and her funnel cake, of course). It never ceases to amaze me how many colors God uses when he paints sunsets in the sky!

It was fun to spend time with friends and see the kids have fun doing the same. It brought back many memories of the county fairs when I was a kid. I am so glad our new community has a similar event where our kids can make memories too!

When They Were Younger

This time of year, with school and all of the related activities starting up, I always seem to be struck by just how big my kids are getting. And, the younger ones often remind me of the older ones when they were littler.  So, keeping with that train of thought, here are some comparisons that I felt compelled to do when thinking back on when my kiddos were all a bit younger.

When Barrett was going to KECC, we started a tradition of taking pictures with the turtle out front on his first day. We continued the tradition with Fletcher, and I am excited to continue to continue it next year. Here's a side by side of Barrett and Fletch by the same turtle at 3 years old.

 

 

Now, when Audrey's first day when she was 3 was also Barrett's first day at daycare. When I looked at this, I was struck by just how tiny Audrey was. She's gotten so big that it's easy to forget she was once just as small as her baby brother. 

It's also really sinking in that we've lived in this house now longer than we've lived anywhere else during our marriage.  As a result, we've been playing at the park across the street for nearly 7 years now. The kids love playing at the park, and I love taking pictures of them playing at the park. I found these pictures of the kids all in the same tunnel. Barrett and Audrey are both 4 when their pictures were taken. 

As a parent, watching your children grow older is bittersweet. I hope I can continue to make memories that will last with all 3 of them. And that I never forget how they were when they were babies, toddlers, and so on up until today. They are pretty fantastic humans, and I am so thankful they are in my life.