What's Wrong?

When I dropped Audrey off at school the day after my last post, a 3 year old girl looked at her, then turned to me and asked, "what's wrong with her face?"  I might have chuckled at her lack of filtration, except for Audrey.  She put her head down in shame and walked away. 

Just a few minutes later, while Audrey was still in earshot, a teacher from one of the younger classes asked, "Is she going to be ok?"  I was a little stunned, and wasn't sure what to say.  I stammered out something about how she is fine and there was no major trauma.  Then, the teacher went on to ask whether the wound would scar or whether her face would heal to look normal again.  I politely said the doctors didn't expect any major scaring, and then looked over at Audrey.  The look on her face said it all.  Her brow was furrowed and her jaw was set as if to say, "of course I am going to be ok.  I am here, aren't I?"  

As I walked away, my  mind was racing.  "There's nothing wrong with her," I thought.  "She just has an ugly, giant scab across her face. Yeah, it isn't pretty to look at.  But what makes a face right or wrong?" 

All day I was in a little bit of a funk.  I kept thinking about that morning, and I started paying attention to my own thoughts and actions.  I thought about the young girl that asked me about Audrey's face, and I kept wondering whether her question was really that innocent.  I thought about the teacher and how blind she was to the fact that behind her question was an assumption that "normal" was right and different was wrong.  Needless to say, the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became.

In that moment, I understood what it is like to be the parent of a child with a disability that makes them look or act differently from other children.  I understood how it feels to have people imply that there is something "wrong" with me because I don't comply with their idea of "normal."  I knew that I do the same thing to other people, just like my daughter, who get stared at because they look different.

So, as a result of my contemplations, I decided to make some resolutions.  Not because I never pass judgments on people; rather, because I do.  Because there are so many people in this world that are different and are judged because if it.    I know I won't follow these resolutions perfectly, but I am going to try.  I want to change my habits, my thinking, and my heart to really live out God's will for my life and love my neighbor as myself.  And, I want to set that example for my children.

1. When one of my children is staring at a stranger who looks or act differently from us, I won't tell them to stop staring because that's not polite.  I will tell them to stop staring and say a prayer for God to help them love that person the way Jesus loves them.
2. When I find myself trying to steal looks at someone who draws my attention because they do not meet my preconceived definition of normal, I will say a prayer for God to help me see that person the way Jesus sees them.
3. I will tell my children they're beautiful more when they show love and kindness than when they just have on fancy clothes.
4. I will try to go through every day loving people instead of judging them.  That doesn't mean being blind to faults, but it does mean seeing past those faults and finding the beauty that God put in every person.   

I wrote this in a post to help hold myself accountable.  I am not trying to preach, although I realize I am on a bit of a soap box.  I just want to push myself to make a real change, because at some point, Audrey's face will heal and her injury will be a distant memory.  When that time comes, I don't want to forget what I learned from the resilience of my young daughter. 

Before I close, I also want to say thank you for all of the well wishes.  Audrey is doing great.  Most of the time, I think she forgets she has a boo boo on her face.  As you can see from this picture, she is full of her normal spunk and her face is already starting to heal.