Little Trials

It is funny how deeply you feel the hurt of your child as a parent.  I know that when I would ask my mom why she would stay up until I got home late from a friend's house, she would tell me I would understand when I'm older.  Well, I guess I'm older now, because I get it.  Audrey has had bumps, bruises, falls, and even busted lips before.  Each time, it hurts, but as soon as I realize that she is ok, I recover quickly.  This time though, I think it's really sinking in.  Don't worry; Audrey is fine.  She just took a tumble today at school.  She tripped and fell into the metal fence around the playground, which resulted in a bump on her forehead, a busted lip, and what the school told us was a loose tooth.  When I picked her up after work, I discovered that it is in fact two chipped teeth, the front top two to be exact.  Now, they aren't nubs; there is still plenty of tooth to be seen below the gum line. Moreover, they are her baby teeth.  But, as a mother, it is hard to see.  I don't know if they are hurting her or what she is feeling; I just know that she is fussier than normal.  She is going to the dentist at 7 tomorrow morning, but in the meantime, I am anxious.  What will the dentist want to do?  Will they have to put her under to do it?  Will she be out of commission for a few days because of it? 
It is times like this when I reason with myself, but reason just won't work.  As a mother, it feels like I took a blow to the mouth as well.  I just want to protect her and make her feel better, but it is out of my hands to do that.  So, I turn to prayer to ask God to protect her and make her feel better. 
As I write this, I can't help but think of Audrey's Aunt Jen and how her Nana and Papa have felt over the past two months.  I am so close to it, but so far from really understanding.  Audrey is only 19 months old, but as deeply as it hurts to see her with broken teeth, I don't want to even ponder never seeing her smile or laugh again. Once more, I pray that God will protect Audrey and keep her safe from harm.  But more than that, I pray that she will have personal fellowship with God.  I find so much peace in knowing that God is watching over her and all of us, and he loves us so much that Christ died for our sins to give us eternal life.  As hard as it is to imagine losing Audrey, it is harder to imagine being a parent without knowing Christ and feeling the peace of the Holy Spirit to help me through even little trials like these.
Whew...that got deep.  I hope I didn't go too far into the trenches for you!  Nonetheless, I want to share a link to a song that has really touched m,e and that I am playing right now.  It speaks to the hope in Christ's promise that helps us to weather everything life throws at us.  It's a familiar song for many, but the arrangement is beautiful and touching. It is done by a pop band called Owl City.    I hope you enjoy it! 

http://owlcityblog.com/2010/10/25/my-hope-is-found/


Update 11-18:  Audrey's first dentist visit went well.  The chips were "cosmetic" and didn't get to the nerves, so that means no corrective action needs to be taken.  The only remaining risk is that the trauma from the fall will cause the teeth to die or get infected.  We'll keep an eye on them and pray that they don't start to turn black!

Fall Fun

Audrey has had an eventful fall.  She has been to 2 bonfires now.  She was a Mizzou cheerleader for Halloween, and she has even had her first sore throat.  She has also been more defiant than normal over the course of the past week.  She has thrown fits about eating what is on her plate at dinner and not "snacks", walking like a big girl instead of being carried, and even putting on her coat to go outside. Before her throat virus last week, she was a cooperative and happy little girl, then three days of not feeling well and being cared for constantly by mommy or daddy spoiled her.  We are finally getting to the point again where she is her normal cooperative self, most of the time.  I am glad it was just a test, and since she is behaving again, it would seem that we’ve passed.  I won’t get too confident though; I know we’ve got a long way to go.

Last Saturday, Audrey’s first day back being social after 3 days at home sick, we went to Christy White’s studio with Audrey in her Mizzou cheerleader outfit for pictures.  She was cooperative until we decided to take her shoes off.  At that point, the straw from the hay bale bench that Christy was using as a prop began sticking to her socks.  When Audrey knew there was straw on her socks, she could not do anything else until every last piece of straw was off of her socks.  Then, she would put her foot on the ground again, only for it to collect more straw.  This cycle could not be stopped until we put her shoes back on.  Fortunately, we already had a few good shots to use before that.  Today, she was methodically lining up her puzzles at home, taking the pieces off, putting them back on, and then stacking the puzzles to put them away again.  It seems that Audrey got Billy and I’s neat freak genes.  Watch out world!